Oh, Tinder. The app we love to hate and hate to love. It has spawned a variety of late night skits and badly written jokes. It seems as if every single person has tried it, but to what success? Has it been worth it? This is a question I’ve been asking myself since September 2015, the month I joined Tinder for the first time. Is it worth it?
Well, to find out if it’s worth it, I need to determine what my end goal has been for Tinder. Here are some possible goals:
- Socializing – Has Tinder helped me to be more social? In the sense that it got me out of the house, yes. But I think a strong component to being social is enjoying the activity you’re involved in. I’m an introvert—by every definition of the word—and I just don’t like first dates. Getting to know someone just isn’t fun for me. I want to skip months ahead, to the part where we’re fast friends with inside jokes and a history. If only you could skip ahead!
- Dating Techniques – I felt pretty rusty when I first started Tinder, because I went from a date every few months to having guys text me every other day. My dating pool opened up considerably, and I feel like I’ve had a lot of practice dating the past year and a half. I’ve opened up more, I’ve given guys chances I normally wouldn’t, and I’ve tried to keep out of my head and not listen to my insecurities. I’m not 100% cured, but I’m getting better!
- Long-term relationships – yeah, I failed here. And this is partly where I’ve started to think that Tinder isn’t worth it. In the rest of the world, Tinder is mainly used for hooking up (they’re trying to get away from that by promoting more of a “make friends” vibe), but I’ve been using it to find people to date and, potentially, marry. Every date I go on I think to myself “Can you see a future with him? Is he easy to talk to? Is he funny? Is he making an effort to have a good time?” These are all very important, because they show that he’s as serious about this as I am. So far I haven’t found that with anyone, but I’m still looking.
- Marriage – the ultimate goal. Marriage is what I have in my sights and I go back and forth every month about whether I feel ready for it or not. I think I won’t really start to feel ready until I’m with the right person, because until then it’s all hypothetical. So I keep looking, and looking, and looking…
I don’t know yet if Tinder is worth it. If marriage is my goal, which hasn’t been accomplished, then it’s not worth it. But perhaps the timing just isn’t right. There are so many factors surrounding Tinder that I don’t think I can give it a black and white verdict. At the very least, it’s helping to get me out of the house, right? J